Blessed Are Those Who Refuse to Add to the Noise
Jesus calls us to be peacemakers, not warriors for our opinions
It’s been 6 weeks since I’ve written a newsletter. I’ve been busy. My kids have been doing the marathon of year-end activities at school. We’ve had a lot going on at church. The biggest interruption was my attending our United Methodist General Conference at the end of April/early May. You may have seen the news that a lot has changed in our denomination since I last wrote a column, too.
I’ve been thinking for a while about how to write a post-mortem for what all took place at this historic event. I serve a Reconciling Ministries church who has, for a long time now, advocated for the changes we saw take place at General Conference. And these changes move me deeply considering the lives of people I know and have known in my churches for years and what these changes mean for them.
But that’s not what I want to write about in this initial reflection back on how we’re living into change.
We live in an angry, polarized society
Instead, there’s a matter I think speaks more deeply to where God is calling us. And it’s not in the direction of one position or another. More important that our opinions and views is the truth that it’s past time for us to stop fighting to the point of hating those who disagree with us.
I recently listened to a podcast where Brene Brown interviewed Dr. William Brady whose research examines the dynamics of emotion at the social network level and their consequences for group behavior. It’s a brilliant episode that touches on a few points we all should take note of as we voice our opinions in ways that seek to divide and demonize those who disagree with us.
Take these points on social media and polarization from Dr. Brady himself:
We are extremely biased toward PRIME information (Prestigious, In group, Moral & Emotional) — we value opinions of important people, people who agree with us already, and people who can appeal to our moral and emotional sensibilities.
Social Media creates the echo chambers reinforcing our views. If we’re progressive, we will see more posts giving us progressive thoughts. If we’re conservative, the same will be true. Before you know it, we will find ourselves always having our views reinforced and never challenged in ways that could lead us to see someone else’s perspective in a meaningful way. The algorithm is built to do this — think about that next time you post, repost, or share political content on social media.
Misinformation is geared to make you made and inspire you to share and spread it. So the misinformation associated with some of these troll accounts producing such material is misinformation most likely to elicit moral outrage, and that’s when you compare the other types of information.
And in fact, if you look at Pew Research, the majority of social media users are actually exhausted by this kind of content, especially in politics…there is an incentive at the user level to reduce this content, and even though it’s true that we all click on like outrage inducing stuff, in the long-term, I think user retention will not be affected by improving some of the representation of that content so it’s more socially representative.
It’s easy to “take a stand” with our opinions in ways that just add to the division and polarization. It’s the status quo these days.
What does this have to do with the UMC?
Change always elicits negative reactions. It’s not so much that people are bad or mean but, in their grief, they react negatively to the change. In 2019, I was heartbroken when changes I felt would lead us to be a more inclusive denomination did not pass. In fact, we reinforced and made those restrictions more stringent.
So I get the grief people must feel now who want us to continue to exclusively promote and traditional view of marriage and hetero-normative understanding of who can be ordained. The church they always knew has changed and they feel like they did not have a say in the matter.
If I were meeting with a more Traditionalist church, I would share these points:
Your local church has not changed. General Conference has little impact on what a local church does week in and week out. If your church doesn’t want to do same-sex weddings, then don’t. Nothing is forcing you to do them. That said, you have to decide if you can be okay if/when a different church begins to do them. And we all have to decide whether or not our shared mission is more important than our varying views of marriage and ordination.
Review the facts, don’t believe the slippery slopes. It’s a logical fallacy to say something leads to something else before it actually happens. That’s called a slippery slope. And I’ve heard many say these changes will lead to all sorts of things that haven’t happened and are factually untrue.
Most every small town I’ve been to has a pocket of people who are LGBT. They may not be “out” for everyone to know, but they’re there. And they often know each other. And quite often they’ve historically chosen the UMC to be their church. I know lots of people who don’t agree with these changes but who tell me stories of people they’ve loved in inclusive ways. The UMC has simply codified the love these churches have long given all people in their local communities.
The church exists for those not yet here. It’s easy to think the UMC is here to serve those who already occupy its pews — Lord knows so much of our way of doing church reinforced this misconception. But think about the people not yet in your pews — those who question God, those who long to be loved, those who feel their complicated past keeps them from the church or from God because some closed-minded church once told them so. We can offer the world and these unreached people a counter witness of love and grace. In many of our areas we may be the only church in town who truly welcomes ALL people. That’s a mandate to share the Gospel!
Be an agent of love, not misinformation
My friend, Dr. John Stephens, said it best in a press conference following General Conference. We haven’t compromised anything. And we sure as heck haven’t “removed God” from the UMC. If anything, we’re in the midst of doing the counter-cultural work of creating a denomination truly big enough for everyone, finally, to find their place in the light of God’s love.
Hey, I’ve started a coaching/consulting service! If you would like to know more about what investing in an active listening partner might look like in your life or leadership, email me (ben@bengosdencoaching.com). I’m also working with churches on basic steps toward revitalization. I even have a couple of business clients and love helping business leaders live into their full potential. Shoot me an email and let’s connect TODAY so I can share more!
Thank you Ben for this great article. It is a refreshing reminder of how we can do much better. I appreciate your work always. ❤️Nita